When a marriage is falling apart, there should be obvious signs a divorce is imminent. Many couples wait too late to get help for their marriage and end up in a divorce. If you and your spouse are facing difficulty in your marriage, you should try to deal with the marital problems before it builds up resentment and hurt feelings. Each time a remark or comment that was hurtful is not resolved with an apology, the bonds holding you and your spouse breaks away.
Of course, divorce should be the last option after trying all possibilities of reconciliation. In addition, you and your spouse should mutually agree to a divorce before you move forward with this option. This way the relationship ends amicably rather than with bitter feelings. There are so many warning signs divorce is imminent in your marriage, making it evident that a separation is the only option.
Here are signs that a divorce is imminent:
1. Wanting to be without your spouse
The most imminent signs to divorce are found inside your brain and your heart. Do you spend most of your time thinking about life being better without your spouse? Yes, you probably are. Note that this is common during a marital conflict.
However, what is not normal is when you feel that it is better to consider a divorce and feel free from the marriage. This is because you are in a situation that you feel uncomfortable with and you cannot find a solution. If you ever feel this way, you can immediately consider marital therapy before you decide that divorce is the best way forward.
2. More negative than good
Your emotions can indicate whether a divorce is imminent or not. If the negative is more than the positive aspects of your marriage, chances are you will feel that a divorce is a better solution. You can take proactive steps to solve these marital problems if you wish and maybe you should try before considering a divorce.
3. You keep things to yourself
Do you find yourself dreading talking or discussing matters with your spouse? If you do, you are keeping things to yourself. Communications is key to every relationship including marriage. You may find it difficult to talk to your spouse as you lack trust and without trust a marriage will fail. First try and repair the communications with your spouse before you think of a divorce.
4. Less intimacy leads to divorce
Intimacy reinforces emotional connection between you and your spouse. If you find yourself drifting away when it comes to intimacy, it is a sure sign of marital danger. Your bond is eroding and is heading for a terminal state. Before this happens, you may want to discuss the matter with your spouse. If there is no improvement and it becomes more difficult to achieve strong emotional connection, then maybe divorce is the only way to solve the problem. This way you and your spouse can move on and live normally.
5. Increased defense mechanism
If you or your spouse become overly defensive, there are chances of a divorce could be imminent. Defense mechanism is common amongst couples that are trying to avoid dealing with conflict.
6. Focus is outside the marriage
You or your spouse find excuses to come home, is always working, work late, or focus on things other than marriage. Careers become priority and less time is contributed to the marriage and family. This is when the trouble begins. You or your spouse are seeking emotional satisfaction outside the marriage. It could also lead to an affair and in most cases; the affair is with a coworker.
If you spend large amounts of time away from home to escape your unhappy marriage, it is an imminent sign of divorce. Either you resolve the situation, or you and your spouse should discuss a divorce so that the situation does not get worse.
7. Emotional disengagement
Emotional disengagement is an imminent sign of divorce. One of you are likely to disengage emotionally from your spouse. You become distant and are no longer interested in improving the marriage. This is when you separate emotions from your spouse. The one that separates emotions from the marriage is normally the one that wants the divorce.
8. Avoiding conflict resolution
Are you or your spouse trying to avoid conflict? If yes, you both cannot handle a disagreement together. You can confront the issue that will resolve the differences without injuring your relationship. In your relationship, conflict is considered a fight and one of you have to win the battle. What really matters is when one of you decides to give up. This is a sure sign of divorce as there is loss of respect and gradual withdrawal.
9. Preparing for a divorce
You are preparing for a divorce when you open a separate bank account, transfer funds or look for a new home to buy. You or your spouse do not realize it, but it is a sign that the marriage is nearing the end. Although this approach is a bit extreme, it is common for you or your spouse to begin preparing for a single life even before the divorce.
10. Small changes to behaviour
There are the small behavioural patterns that are signs of divorce. You and your spouse fight about little things. Either you or your spouse like to go out without the other more often than usual. Your spouse always belittles you in front of others. All these issues can be resolved or you and your spouse can amicably agree to a divorce.